WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following recent ICE-related shootings, Democrat leaders stepped forward to remind the nation that everything would be much safer if law enforcement would just stop enforcing the law.
According to Democrat lawmakers, the recent spate of violence and rioting could all have been avoided if law enforcement agents had just avoided conflict and sought peaceful resolutions by not preventing criminals from continuing to break the law.
"Clearly, the problem here is the enforcement of laws," House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries told reporters. "They've constantly inflamed, prodded, and goaded mostly peaceful criminals into unavoidable acts of civil disobedience by tyrannically carrying out the charge entrusted to them. What gives them the right? Other than their badges."
Other Democrats were quick to agree, noting that nearly all criminal reports filed somehow involve law enforcement agencies.
"I don't think it's very polite of them to arrest people," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "And things would be so much calmer if they just didn't do that. I understand that it's their job and all, but maybe they should just not do their jobs. They need to stop preventing protesters and lawbreakers from doing whatever they want. It's simple."
At publishing time, Democrats had reintroduced impeachment charges against Donald Trump for allegedly not following the law.
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