Local Woman Wouldn't Personally Shoot Anyone In The Face But Supports A Murderer's Right To Choose

WINDWOOD, AL—Local woman Lora Atkins said Thursday that she wouldn't personally shoot anyone in the face but supports a murderer's right to choose homicide.

She says she personally finds the subject of shooting people in the face "icky" and "disagreeable," but that she doesn't want to go around pushing her morality on everyone.

"I would not kill someone myself, but I support a murderer's right to choose homicide," she said. "It's not my business."

"If I could walk a minute in the shoes of a guy who's about to blow the head off his next victim, maybe I'd feel differently."

At publishing time, the woman had also applied her logic to running over hapless pedestrians, beating someone to death with a 5-iron, and stabbing someone in the neck.

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.