TUSCALOOSA, AL - Seven-year-old Gloria Hutchins was taken aside by her mother today and informed that thanks to new abortion laws, she may never enjoy the opportunity to kill her offspring. The two shared tears as Hutchin's mother, Heather, explained how, back in the good old days, if she decided she wanted to have sex without any discrepancy or thought, that was totally fine because she could always just end the life she had created. 

Gloria choked back tears as she learned she would have to conduct herself with some degree of discernment in who she chose as a romantic partner, and what kind of boundaries they would set. Both lamented as they realized there could come some horrible nightmare of a day when little Gloria, all grown up, would be forced to give birth to an unwanted child and put it up for adoption instead of enjoying the freedom to just end it. 

Gloria's mother went on to tell her about how great it had been in her time, and all the siblings she would have had, and Gloria thanked her for killing them. Then Gloria wept more as the realization set in that the one hope and dream she had for this life - to murder her offspring - had been ripped from her hands.