WERNER, TX—According to sources close to local woman Crissy Menger, the Christian mother and wife has more Hobby Lobby decorations hanging in her home than any given Hobby Lobby location.
The woman reportedly has 572 different pieces of Hobby Lobby Scripture art, 324 separate hymn quotes, and approximately 200 inspirational messages hanging all around her house.
"She's got the Bible verses, the hymn lyrics, the vaguely Christian inspirational quotes---she's definitely got more stock than our local Hobby Lobby store," said her husband, Hank Menger. "In fact, Hobby Lobby sometimes calls her to place an order if they're out of stock. She's become their number one supplier."
In an interview, Menger defended herself, claiming that they were all 50% off at the time of purchase. "I'm supposed to be a Proverbs 31 woman, right?" she said as she hung up a piece of wooden art with a quote from "It Is Well" on it. "Well, what kind of a Proverbs 31 woman would I be if I turned down 50% off all wood and metal decor?"
"And even I would be questioning my salvation if I didn't have this great quote from Romans 8 hanging up in the hall," she added proudly.
At publishing time, Menger's family members had begrudgingly admitted they "kinda liked" the art.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.