AUSTIN, TX — Local man Jeremy Rawls and his good friend Luis Dominguez reached a milestone today, having now communicated using only Steve Carell GIFs for eight months straight.
"Whoa! I had no idea," said Mr. Rawls as he scrolled back through their text chain. "Luis is one of my closest friends. We've texted about some pretty big stuff this last eight months — his dog dying, his girlfriend breaking up with him — with apparently nothing other than Steve Carell GIFs. It's like its own language at this point."
The streak began when Rawls said he couldn't meet for lunch as he had agreed to go apple-picking with his girlfriend, prompting Dominguez to send a clip of Steve Carell saying "you're so white". The pair continued to trade everything from sorrowful condolences to happy congratulations, unintentionally using nothing but the powerful expressions of Steve Carell.
"I really didn't mean to stop sending actual words," said Mr. Dominguez. "It's just that every time I went to send him a message, the perfect Steve Carell GIF was waiting. Everything you're feeling, Steve Carell's face has somehow already said it."
At publishing time, the two had reportedly traded GIFs of Steve Carell grimacing as each accused the other of mispronouncing "GIF."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
