CONCORD, NH - Pro-compliance activists are on high alert following a proposal by Libertarians that some have described as catastrophically reckless. The Libertarians' inflammatory new proposal, ostensibly titled the "Do Whatever You Want Mandate" calls for the mandatory freedom to do whatever you want.
"This forced liberty is appalling and un-American," said a staffer for Senator Bernie Sanders, who was hospitalized for chest pain after reading the proposed mandate. "The heavy hand of freedom and tolerance would be disastrous for the nation's citizens who make a living as politicians. Absolutely devastating."
Many Americans have had trouble comprehending the proposed mandate that gives them the freedom to pursue their own lives so long as they respect the equal right of others.
"But what about the current crisis we're facing?" asked one resident of New Hampshire who asked to remain anonymous because he is embarrassed to have the name Adam Adamson Adams. "Who is going to tell us what to be scared of, when to wear masks, or when to take untested vaccines?"
The controversial proposal has already been adopted by brutal Florida Dictator, Ron DeSantis.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
