KNOXVILLE, TN — Local Libertarian Steve Kocot was unsure about how best to invest his money and was torn between investing in shiny rocks or some of those newfangled magic computer coins.
Kocot's dilemma reportedly came about as soon as he heard on the internet that the collapse of his government-manipulated fiat currency was imminent and that he needed to preserve his wealth in a more stable form before the American empire disintegrated.
"It's only a matter of days or weeks or months or years or decades," he said. "Everything our government's Keynesian economic house of cards is built upon has to come crashing down, and when it does, the man who has shiny rocks — or magic computer coins — will be king."
Kocot was caught between a shiny rock and a computer coin as he spent an agonizing couple of weeks weighing the pros and cons of the shiny rocks, otherwise known as gold and silver, versus the magic computer coins, which are a more libertarian form of unstable fiat currency.
"See, I could get a bunch of gold or silver coins, but they are really heavy. And then I would probably need to get a safe or something, I guess," he continued. "On the other hand, I could put my money into these magic computer coins everyone is telling me exist. I have no idea how they work or where to get them, and they're invisible, but they're apparently really cool."
At publishing time, Steve had decided to go halfsies on DOGE Coin and gold pitched by Glenn Beck.
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