AUSTIN, TX—Depressed and worn out after a week fighting bans by Big Tech companies, controversial far-right personality Alex Jones decided to stop by a local bakery to pick himself up a few cupcakes.
But the baker who owns the establishment asked Jones to leave, stating that he disagrees with Jones’ lifestyle and worldview—a move that has drawn universal praise from left-leaning pundits across the country.
“It is a fundamental right of business owners in this country to refuse service to whomever they so choose,” Rachel Maddow said. “The government does not have the right to force a private business to serve an individual. Private property rights are one of the core tenets of American liberty.”
Many liberals who have expressed their disapproval of Christian bakers refusing to serve gay customers announced they now believe business owners have the right to ban customers from their establishments at will.
“That Christian baker was totally bigoted,” said one liberal man in New York. “But to hear that Jones got banned from a local bakery because the owner didn’t want to support his lifestyle and perspectives? Music to my ears”
At publishing time, leftists reminded the nation that they reserve the right to change their views on banning customers and users at will as soon as someone on their side is banned.