'Liberal Arts Degrees' Renamed 'Non-Essential Worker Degrees'

U.S.—More colleges across the country have been renaming their liberal arts degrees "non-essential worker degrees" in a bid to be more honest about what exactly the course of study entails.

"We wanted to be a little more honest about what you can expect from a liberal arts program -- sorry, a non-essential worker program," said Charles C. Kettlebrook, Dean of Winstonhamington University in Philadelphia. "Whenever people need to be sent home, to be frank, you'll be the first to go. It will be kind of nice for you, sometimes, actually, since you'll get to stay home and collect a check from the government instead of going out and being productive."

The colleges confirmed that nothing has changed in the actual studies being offered by the liberal arts programs, but now they can't be sued for false advertising. "You'll know right from the get-go that the pottery, French literature, or zero-gravity space station basket weaving classes you're taking are completely useless and non-essential."

Babylon Bee subscriber Gregory Schulz contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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