WASHINGTON, D.C.—Ketanji Brown Jackson, who will be taking over for Justice Breyer at the end of the court's term, has penned a dissent for the court's decision on Dobbs v. Jackson, in which she asks, "What is a woman?"
According to sources, KBJ wrote the scathing dissent over the weekend in a flurry of righteous anger. She submitted it to Justice Roberts on Monday morning despite not yet having any say in the court's activities.
Roberts wasn't willing to comment on the dissent's nature but expressed his confusion about having received it. "I think she thought it would count as extra credit or something? I don't know. I guess I shouldn't be surprised she's confused—she doesn't even know what a woman is!" At that, the Supreme Court justices threw back their heads and laughed a hearty laugh.
The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive copy of her dissent, which follows:
Jackson dissenting
SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES
THOMAS E. DOBBS, STATE HEALTH OFFICER OF THE MISSISSIPPI DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH, ET AL., PETITIONERS v. JACKSON WOMEN'S HEALTH ORGANIZATION, ET AL.
ON WRIT OF CERTIORARI TO THE UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE FIFTH CIRCUIT
(June 27, 2022)
What is a woman?
Jackson will officially join the Supreme Court in its next term and has reportedly requested a staff biologist to be present. Justice Roberts has agreed to "look into it."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
