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Before the United States Supreme Court handed down its ruling that effectively banned trans athletes from competing in women's sports, a wide range of competitors were working toward achieving their lifelong dreams. Now, those dreams are over. These are their stories.
The Babylon Bee would like to recognize the following tragic sports figures who will never reach their potential:
Janice Morris, basketball. All she ever wanted was to make the varsity girls' basketball team. Shame on you, Clarence Thomas.
Shelly Ames, soccer. Since childhood, she dreamed of earning a women's soccer scholarship. That has all been ruined.
Flipper, swimming. Not only transgender, but also a dolphin, Flipper was crushing the competition at every swim meet until the SCOTUS destroyed everything.
Megan Darnelle, freestyle wrestling. She was getting ready to fold a little girl in half and break her femur when the ruling came down. Who will stand up for Megan?
Cosmo Kramer, karate. Kramer was dominating all the kids in his karate class before a bunch of right-wing judges ruled that a grown man shouldn't beat up children, even if they are all on the same skill level. Now, Kramer has no future.
Tina "Big T" Torreto, boxing. Tina was on the way to becoming the champ across 3 different divisions. Now, he has to beat up random women at his apartment complex. So unfair.
Brittney Griner, basketball. The 6-time WNBA all-star will now be forced to leave the league and compete against other dudes. Where is the justice?
Never let these brave athletes fade from our memories. Who else has had their dreams of athletic stardom crushed by the Supreme Court? Put your remembrances in the comments.
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Behold! Woke Jesus is teaching when the Pharisees bring to him a woman caught in adultery. Listen and learn from this cherished Bible story about how Woke Jesus turned to intersectionality.
