WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the Supreme Court began to hear the case regarding former President Donald Trump being removed from the ballot in Colorado, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson paused oral arguments to ask what this "Constitution" thing is everyone keeps talking about.
Jackson, the most recent addition to the court, halted the proceedings for several minutes to get clarification.
"What is this ‘Constitution' of which you speak?" Jackson asked, according to official Supreme Court transcripts of the hearing. "I'm not familiar with this term. I'm not a biologist, so I assume it could very well be some type of species found in remote parts of the globe. I suppose it could also be an old, old wooden ship used during the Civil War era. Can someone please explain to me what the ‘Constitution' is?"
Though Justice Clarence Thomas reportedly struggled to stifle laughter, other justices began to explain to Jackson that the Constitution is, in fact, the founding document upon which all U.S. laws and government are built. "It's kind of an important document," Justice Samuel Alito said. "Familiarizing yourself with it could prove beneficial in future cases."
"Ah, yes, I see now," Jackson replied. "Thank you for providing me with this new information."
At publishing time, Justice Jackson requested additional recess time from arguments so she could research what the words "government," "document," and "laws" mean.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.