WILLIAMSTOWN, KY—Ken Ham is at it again! Following the success of Ark Encounter, the good folks at the Creation Museum have broken ground on their newest brainchild: The Tower of Babel.
“Everyone loves seeing Bible stories come to life,” said Ham, CEO of Answers in Genesis. “When we sat down to brainstorm about what to do next, we asked ourselves ‘what did Noah’s descendants do next?’ They built a huge tower!” This, of course, is excluding Ham’s failed project The Table of Nations, which was literally just a big table with names of nations written on it.
At the ground-breaking ceremony, Ham exclaimed: “Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.” When he finished his speech, someone yelled out “you Nimrod!” which Ham either ignored or did not hear.
“God really blessed the Ark, so we can’t wait to see what He is going to do with this one! Heaven’s the limit!”
Among other celebrities, the Lord Himself actually showed up to see the city and the tower, which the children of men had built. He seemed fairly impressed with what Ham had started, stating, “Behold, the people is one, and they have all language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.”
The Tower is located near the Ark Encounter on a plain Ham has dubbed “Shinar.” Unfortunately, the project was quickly plagued with construction delays, from communication problems and translation errors to smiting from on high.
"こんにちは、バカ" shouted one worker as another put a beam in the wrong place. The other one shouted back, "Twoja matka była chomikiem!" Such arguing has stalled construction for the foreseeable future.