Kanye Promises Free Chick-Fil-A For Every American If Elected
Politics · Jul 19, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

NORTH CHARLESTON, SC - Kanye West has promised free Chick-fil-A for every American if elected president this November.

"If you vote for me, you're gonna have that delicious number one with the lemonade," he said as he held up a bag of takeout from the popular chicken sandwich restaurant. "It's so good, for real." He then opened the bag of Chick-fil-A, sat down on the stage, and ate the entire meal.

After wiping up the mess he made with the Chick-fil-A sauce, he continued: "All these other candidates are offering free healthcare, free college, free whatever -- but I know what you guys really want, because I'm in touch with the common man."


Backup dancers then came on stage and shot Chick-fil-A sandwiches over the crowd with T-shirt cannons. "Make it raaaaaaain!" West shouted as people screamed in delight.

West's poll numbers immediately skyrocketed after the announcement. He currently is projected to win 98% of the popular vote, with Donald Trump winning 2% and Biden not surviving until Election Day.

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