Brought to you by: Praxis
Questions are swirling in the wake of President Biden's withdrawal from the presidential campaign. What is Kamala Harris? Why is Kamala Harris? And who will she pick for her VP?
Thanks to a tough bit of investigative journalism, we at the Babylon Bee have recovered Kamala Harris' shortlist of picks for Vice-President, which was helpfully written in crayon on a used Arby's napkin. Take a look!
The White Witch: No, not Gretchen Whitmer, just the one from Narnia.
Joe Biden: One good turn deserves another. Plus, he's sharp as a tack.
A clean, articulate black man: Any one will do.
The buff Asian guy from Bloodsport: America's enemies will cower in fear.
Jack Daniels: Finally, a VP who can provide proper emotional support.
One of the women from the 2016 all-female reboot of Ghostbusters: They were trailblazers for women everywhere.
Ilhan Omar: Nothing like a little impeachment insurance.
Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle: So Kamala can look more competent by comparison.
Justin Trudeau: It would be great to get another woman on the ticket.
Michael Obama: It'll be a historic Black Woman, Black Man Ticket.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: She did an amazing portrayal of Kamala in Veep.
Electric school buses: Kamala LOVES them.
Making a choice for VP will surely be a tough choice with all those options. We'll stay tuned to see who she picks.
NOT SATIRE: Don't Want What College Is Offering? Do This Instead.
Over the past decade, our team at Praxis has helped hundreds of young adults start their careers, build skills, grow their networks, navigate their job hunts, and develop a roadmap for their futures.
We know what it takes to succeed without college, and we'd like to share this knowledge with you and your family. Because we think it's important you're aware of your options. Especially considering the cost of college and average outcomes for graduates today.
That's why we created 5 Tips for Opting Out of College Successfully: A Short Course in Winning the Early Innings of Your Career Without A Degree.
It's a 45-minute workshop jam-packed with tips and exercises to help your teen or young adult gain career clarity, learn how to create value, grow his or her network, and achieve career success - even if they don't go to college.
As an added bonus for The Babylon Bee subscribers, now through the end of July, we're offering a $1,500 scholarship for any student who applies and is accepted for our Fall 2024 program.
You can access the full workshop for free by following this link.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.