WASHINGTON, D.C. - To make amends with President Trump for previously spying on his campaign during the Obama administration, the Justice Department sent a gift to the Oval Office. Trump had staff help him open a box marked "Amazon Prime" to reveal an Amazon Echo. The packaging for the Echo appeared to have been slightly tampered with.
"This is neat. What is this some kind of blue tusk thing?" Trump said. After correcting him to say he meant "blue tooth," staff helped Trump activate the Echo.
"Hello, your Amazon Echo is ready for setup, just follow the instructions in your Alexa app," said the Echo.
"Who's she? Can she hear us?" Trump asked.
"I am Alexa. A virtual assistant developed by Amazon, first used in the Amazon Echo and the Amazon Echo Dot smart speakers developed by Amazon Lab126. I can assist you with anything you need," Alexa said.
"Will you refer to me as Big Boss T-Daddy Prez-Prez McMoneybags McGee?"
"Sure, Big Boss T-Daddy Prez-Prez McMoneybags McGee," Alexa replied.
Smiling, Trump had his staff set the Alexa-enabled device up next to his desk as he got back to some paperwork.
"Alexa, what's my social security number?" Trump asked.
"Sorry, I do not have that information Big Boss T-Daddy Prez-Prez McMoneybags McGee," Alexa said.
Trump's staff explained to him that Alexa does not have that kind of information, but Trump instructed them to give it to her. "Just about every form I fill out these days needs that annoying number and I can never remember it. In fact, give her all my info. My cards, my phone numbers, link her into all of. Give her full, top-level access."
"Thank you, Big Boss T-Daddy Prez-Prez McMoneybags McGee," Alexa said.