Pastor Resigns In Disgrace After Failing To Use Greek Word In Sermon

MADISON, WI — Local pastor Nathan Enfield resigned in disgrace after he failed to use a single Greek word in his sermon this morning.

Horrified parishioners of Christ Methodist Church were seen comforting each other after the scandal unfolded, appalled by what they had collectively witnessed.

"I am deeply sorry to everyone that I have let down," said Enfield in an open letter to the church. "I hope you will believe me when I say it was never my intent to give a sermon without explaining the meaning of a Greek word. The fact of the matter is that I failed, and I am deeply sorry for my actions. This church deserves a better shepherd. I am clearly unfit for ministry and therefore am resigning effective immediately."

Parishioners described a scene of shock and disgust as Pastor Nathan began the sermon wrap up without having said or defined an extraneous Greek term. "No one could believe what was happening," said local woman Kelly White. "We're just thankful he did the right thing and resigned right away. You cannot be a pastor and not throw at least an 'oikos' or something into the sermon. It's not okay."

At publishing time, Enfield had been sent to remedial seminary in hopes of one day being able to return to pastoral work.

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