ATLANTA, GA — The city of Atlanta is entering its second week of violent, fiery riots that have been organized and executed by just an idea. The riots were triggered days ago when activist Manuel Esteban Paez Terán was innocently murdered by thug cops after simply trying to kill them with his deadly idea-gun.
"A simple, unorganized belief system just marched through and broke all the windows of our neighborhood," said one Atlanta resident, "Then the philosophical theory began throwing bricks at our police force in a very strategic, tactical fashion."
The Atlanta police announced the arrest of a few members of nothing more than a series of tenets who had somehow entered the state from Maine, Arizona, Tennessee, and as far away as Washington with the goal of simply being part of an idea.
In response to the burning, looting, arrests, and destruction brought on by a simple ideological thesis, CNN has committed to 24/7 coverage of the Oscars.
At publishing time, Just An Idea had destroyed America from the inside, out.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: