'Just An Idea' Burns Down Atlanta
U.S. · Jan 24, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

ATLANTA, GA — The city of Atlanta is entering its second week of violent, fiery riots that have been organized and executed by just an idea. The riots were triggered days ago when activist Manuel Esteban Paez Terán was innocently murdered by thug cops after simply trying to kill them with his deadly idea-gun.

"A simple, unorganized belief system just marched through and broke all the windows of our neighborhood," said one Atlanta resident, "Then the philosophical theory began throwing bricks at our police force in a very strategic, tactical fashion."

The Atlanta police announced the arrest of a few members of nothing more than a series of tenets who had somehow entered the state from Maine, Arizona, Tennessee, and as far away as Washington with the goal of simply being part of an idea.

In response to the burning, looting, arrests, and destruction brought on by a simple ideological thesis, CNN has committed to 24/7 coverage of the Oscars.

At publishing time, Just An Idea had destroyed America from the inside, out.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.

Watch Santa's retirement announcement

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now