AUSTIN, TX - The world's most popular podcaster and elk meat enthusiast Joe Rogan has agreed to stop spreading unapproved misinformation and only share misinformation that has been approved by the CDC first, sources confirmed this week.
"Look, I've made some mistakes," he said sheepishly in a video posted to social media Friday. "I haven't always thought about how platforming guests who spread misinformation that hasn't been approved by the government can be damaging to the narrative. Rather than sharing discussions that might promote misinformation that hasn't hit the mainstream yet, our show will now only push misinformation that benefits our overlords."
The statement brought some sought-after clarity to Rogan's listeners, who were confused when Spotify began cracking down on misinformation but failed to remove thousands of shows that push misinformation that supports government propaganda.
Going forward, the Joe Rogan Experience will have a team of fact-checkers on loan from Facebook and Twitter to verify that every false statement Rogan or a guest promotes is a false statement that the government wants to push on the public at that particular time. Unapproved misinformation will be censored or held until a future time a few weeks down the road when it has been revealed to be true all along.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
