WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following news of a federal indictment on gun charges, Hunter Biden received a comforting pep talk from his father, President Joe Biden, who told him about the time his son was indicted for gun crimes.

"This really reminds me of that experience," Joe said. "It wasn't very long ago that my own son was indicted on charges identical to these. I mean that sincerely. I know you're going through a rough time right now, but things can get better. If you need some encouragement, I can arrange for you to have a talk with my son. He dealt with the same…the same…he dealt with…he dealt with the same… well, anyway."

Hunter, though puzzled by his father's story, expressed thankfulness. "Thanks, Dad," he said. "You know that was me, though, right? Your son who was indicted on gun charges? That was today. And it's me. I'm your son."

President Biden brushed off Hunter's explanation. "Don't be silly," he said. "My son passed away years ago. And my other son, Hunter, he's closing some big deals for me overseas. Hookers and blow and some bribes. He's smart as a whip. Good guy. Looks a lot like you."

Hunter was reportedly able to convince his father of his identity sometime later by giving him details about the Chinese government's latest instructions for destroying the U.S. from within.

At publishing time, Hunter was said to be in good spirits following his father's encouraging talk and was preparing for a weekend bender in downtown Los Angeles.

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