Politics
Joe Biden Vows To Launch NASA Mission To Explore Your Personal Space

PHILADELPHIA, PA—At a rally promoting his presidential campaign, former vice president Joe Biden promised to emphasize personal space exploration as president.

Biden vowed to utilize the powers of the executive office "to explore strange new bodies, to seek out and then break through personal boundaries, and to bodily go where no man has gone before."

"As soon as I'm in office, I will call upon NASA to help me explore your personal space," Biden said to cheers at the rally. "This will be an ongoing mission to the final frontier of common social standards and the etiquette of interacting with other humans in an appropriate way."

"While President Trump has talked a big personal space exploration game, he hasn't put his hands where his mouth is," he continued. "Under my leadership, America will once again be at the forefront of personal space exploration."

He then called a girl on stage and put his hands on her shoulders for some reason.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.