CHICAGO, IL - Stating that he had felt the Lord softly and tenderly knocking for many years but had thus far refused to allow Him in, local man Matt Jones reported Tuesday that Jesus had knocked down the door of his heart with a battering ram.
The Messiah reportedly broke in during a gospel call at a church service, when it became clear the man wasn't going to let Him in peacefully.
"Standing at the door and knocking just wasn't doing the trick, I guess," Jones said. "So He busted in there and took care of business."
"I guess He was going to get in there one way or another," he added.
After breaking in through the front door, Jesus reportedly got to work cleaning various messes the man had made over many years, and began a remodel of the heart's stone walls to ones made of living tissue.