MESA, AZ—According to sources, Pastor Jeff Durbin of Apologia Church courageously fought back with irrefutable truth from God this past weekend after his wife asked him to pick up his socks.
"Jeff, please pick up those smelly socks," said Mrs. Durbin. "They smell from all your sweaty martial arts ninja turtle training."
"Are those socks? Are they really on the floor?" Jeff replied.
"Yes, I believe they are," said Mrs. Durbin, starting to get a little exasperated.
Jeff cracked a sly smile and yelled, "BY WHAT STANDARD? BOOM!"
"You see, dear wife," Jeff continued. "You were born as a child of wrath by your very nature, heading for destruction. God's holy Word tells us our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked. You say my socks are on the floor but is that an affirmation of God's truth from His word, or an expression of your own darkened and sinful heart? By what standard, I ask you, do you ask me to pick up these socks off the floor?"
"...Just pick up your socks Jeff."