BETHESDA, MD — A significant victory was notched by the current administration today, as Japan agreed to a trade deal after President Donald Trump successfully caught five shrimp in a row in his mouth during lunch.
Sources close to the negotiations said that Trump and his team took the Japanese delegation out to a nearby Benihana restaurant for lunch, where the president wowed the visitors by catching a record five straight shrimp tossed to him by the teppanyaki chef, sealing the new trade agreement between the two nations.
"Hawwwwwwww!" the representatives of the Japanese government were heard marveling as they watched the president catch shrimp after shrimp.
Following the impressive display, Trump's designated advisors were able to hammer out the final details of the new trade deal. The president spoke briefly with reporters outside the restaurant after lunch.
"They had never seen anything like it," Trump said. "They said they had only seen someone catch two, maybe three, shrimp in a row at the most. I did five. I could have done more, believe me. I love the shrimp. And the onion volcano. It's tremendous. The Japanese are great with the food tricks. And electronics. We're going to have a beautiful trade deal now, because of the shrimp. Apparently, it was a record. That's what they told me. At least I think that's what they said. It was in Japanese."
At publishing time, Trump had reportedly amended the trade agreement to include a clause that would provide him with a squad of White House ninjas.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
