NEW YORK CITY — New York City residents have reported that the warmth of collectivism feels weirdly similar to a crushing tax increase.
According to several locals, the experience of basking in the glow of collectivism has a strange resemblance to massive rent increases and the state retirement fund being raided.
"It's really eerie," said local woman Rosalie Marks. "They just feel so alike, warm collectivism and devastating tax hikes. It's very, very like watching your retirement account get drained. You can hardly tell the difference, honestly."
Mayor Zohran Mamdani has assured citizens that collectivism's warmth can often feel like astronomic tax increases. "Oh yeah, the warmth often feels like that at first," explained Mamdani. "People come up to me, and they say, 'Hey, Zohran! Why does it feel like you robbed my retirement account to pay for bus fares?' And I tell them not to worry, collectivism's warmth can feel like that to some people. It's totally normal."
At publishing time, New Yorkers had reported that government-owned grocery stores felt oddly similar to bread lines.
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