Jack Dorsey Defiantly States He Has Never Heard Of Twitter
U.S. · Dec 9, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In the aftermath of the second wave of what have come to be known as the "Twitter Files" — in which documented evidence is presented that Twitter engaged in systematic practices to suppress and "shadowban" conservative or otherwise dissenting accounts, despite previous claims to not do so — co-founder and former CEO Jack Dorsey has issued a defiant statement that he has, in fact, never heard of Twitter.

"I have no comment on, and indeed, no knowledge regarding anything known as a ‘Twitter,'" Dorsey said. "Any claims to the contrary are untrue and a wholesale misrepresentation. The previous statements attributed to me regarding ‘shadowbanning,' while made by me, were simply not made by me."

Furor continues to grow in the wake of new Twitter owner and CEO Elon Musk authorizing the release of large amounts of internal communications and descriptions of practices under the company's previous regime. "Twitter and its former brain trust have very serious questions to answer," said Senator Ted Cruz in comments to the media. "Mr. Dorsey testified before Congress and denied that Twitter had engaged in such practices. The American people demand the truth."

"I never appeared before Congress," Dorsey said in response. "I'm not here talking to you right now. My name is not Jack Dorsey. I vehemently deny my own existence at this time."

At publishing time, investigations into Dorsey's knowledge of secret Twitter practices were ongoing, as further questions sent to Dorsey remained unanswered as he denied ever providing his previous answers to the first questions.

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