ISIS-K And 13 Other Deadly ISIS Variants
Faith Tips · Aug 30, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

You've heard of ISIS-K, the superspreader variant of ISIS that recently formed. But have you heard of these 17 even deadlier variants of the terrorist group?

ISIS-Pre-K - For terrorists ages 3-5

ISIS+ - Available for the low monthly subscription fee of $4.99

Flamin' Hot ISIS - Now with even more flavor!

ISIS-K-Pop - Basically the same as regular K-pop

ISIS Prime - All terror attacks are guaranteed within two days

Apple iSis - Costs 5 times as much as normal ISIS but with less functionality

ISIS Kids Bop - Explicit phrases like "death to America" are replaced with fun, kid-friendly alternatives like "puppies to America"

ISIS: Game of the Year Edition with all DLC - Plus the season pass to ISIS

ISIS-K-Mart - Sadly this one is already out of business

ISIS-Relient-K - Kind of like ISIS-MXPX but not as good

ISIS Oops! All Berries - The factory worker who accidentally put in all berries got his hand chopped off, of course

ISISGBTQ - The "log cabin" variant of ISIS essentially

ISIS: The all-female reboot - Much more inclusive!

What's your favorite? Let us know in the comments. Unless you're poor. Then you can't see the comments and we don't care what you think.


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