JERUSALEM — In a possible fulfillment of Biblical prophecy, Chick-fil-A has just opened a new location on the Temple Mount.
While biblical scholars and end-times experts are still unsure how exactly the development fits into timelines for the end of human history, all agree that the new Chick-fil-A location is a herald of fulfilled prophecy.
"In the Psalms, David clearly says that God will 'arise and have pity on Zion,'" explained Dr. David Jedediah, who runs an end times ministry radio station in the Bible Belt. "How else are we to interpret this new Chick-fil-A location except as a blatantly obvious sign that God is favoring Zion and that the appointed time has come? Yahweh has certainly heard the cry of his people and blessed them with showers of Chick-fil-A sauce and an unending supply of spicy chicken sandwiches. Hallelujah!"
Sources say the new Chick-fil-A is likely some sort of visible manifestation of God's presence with His people.
"This could be a precursor to the establishment of the Third Temple," confirmed Jim Brendan, an independent apocalypse scholar from Alabama. "Get ready for 1,000 years of Messianic peace, prosperity, and peach milkshakes, people — the Millennium is coming and Chick-Fil-A is ushering it in."
At publishing time, end times experts had determined that the apocalypse was inching even nearer after the Chick-fil-A had gotten blown up.
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