NEW YORK, NY—According to sources, the marketing team for a pharmaceutical product has been hard at work for almost a year on an impactful commercial for this year's Super Bowl. After millions of dollars in investment and thousands of hours, the marketing geniuses came up with a unique and moving social justice message for their commercial.
"We here at Marley's Bunion Cream are proud that we have the courage to stand up and speak about important issues," said CEO Masie Winclunk. "And we're pretty sure we're the only company with the courage to run a commercial with a message like this. THIS is the bunion cream commercial we ALL need right now."
The commercial starts with moving piano music set to moving pictures of activists kneeling, raising fists, and standing up to injustice in a very moving way. A voiceover narrator will touch on important themes like 'unity,' 'social justice,' and 'moving forward to build back better in these uncertain times because we're all in this together.'
The commercial will not feature depictions of the product or list its merits in any way, save for the company logo at the very end of the commercial, which will fade in as the moving piano chord-progression resolves.
"We feel that actually selling our product would be a gross misuse of our privilege," said Winclunk. "Besides, these commercials aren't made for the customer-- they're made for the army of raging Twitter activists that are dying to cancel us and take Marley's Bunion Cream off store shelves for good!"
"Please don't cancel us, Twitter activists!" said Winclunk while taking a knee and raising her fist.