U.S.—An alarming study released by The New York Times is revealing vast disparities in the prices women pay for coffee versus what men pay for coffee, with women paying an average of 20,000% more for their daily caffeine fix.
"I can't imagine what could be causing such a stark disparity," said Megan McNeely as she sipped on her double caramel mocha frappuccino with almond milk, extra whip, rainbow sprinkles, and two shots of mint. "Oh yeah, I know-- sexism!"
The study found that most men typically pay about $2.50 for a normal black cup of coffee in the morning, while the average white female between the ages of 20-35 pays around $50,000 dollars for a hot coffee-related beverage.
President Biden has invited McNeely to the White House to discuss ways the government can address this terrible inequality.
"I've had to refinance my mortgage 12 times just to get coffee this year," said McNeely during the White House meeting. "I'm being oppressed. Please help me, President Biden!"
Unfortunately, the meeting was cut short after Biden fell asleep due to not getting enough coffee that morning.