TOPEKA, KS — Local serial killer Roger Thompson spent all morning today explaining his deep passion for collecting nutcrackers.
Thompson told his girlfriend that other than one activity he won't mention, there is nothing else on earth that excites him quite like getting another nutcracker.
"There's something about their lifeless stare that just does it for me," said Thompson. "I like having dozens of dolls around me, with movable jaws and hair. It's a great hobby, tracking them down one by one, hunting something new. I love the feeling of adding their still, wooden, dead doll frames onto my shelf."
Thompson stated that he does get together from time to time with his fellow serial killers for nutcracker swaps. "We all have incredible collections, especially Janet," said Thompson. "Nutcrackers are the one thing that really brings mass murderers together. Other than murder, of course."
At publishing time, Janet had been reported missing with nothing taken from her house other than her nutcracker collection.
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