AUSTIN, TX—Local woman Heather Karenson told her fellow Walmart shoppers Tuesday that she can't believe some churches and small businesses think it's safe to reopen already.
As the herd of people pressed in close together, waiting to pay for their stuff for two hours at the one open register, the woman ranted about how dumb some Christians are for going back to church already.
"Close proximity with all those people, singing and stuff? Man, those people are really anti-science," she said as she waited in line with 57 other people, pushing a cart that hadn't been cleaned in days. "It's like, read one of those sciency books, you know? Or watch that science guy on TV."
While she spoke, fourteen different people slipped by her to grab items from end caps, all of them coughing on her.
Luckily for her, she was smart and brought her mask, though it got uncomfortable so she just let it dangle from her chin the whole time.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.