'I Can't Believe Christians Think It's Safe To Go Back To Church,' Says Woman In Line At Walmart
Health · May 19, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

AUSTIN, TX - Local woman Heather Karenson told her fellow Walmart shoppers Tuesday that she can't believe some churches and small businesses think it's safe to reopen already.

As the herd of people pressed in close together, waiting to pay for their stuff for two hours at the one open register, the woman ranted about how dumb some Christians are for going back to church already.

"Close proximity with all those people, singing and stuff? Man, those people are really anti-science," she said as she waited in line with 57 other people, pushing a cart that hadn't been cleaned in days. "It's like, read one of those sciency books, you know? Or watch that science guy on TV."

While she spoke, fourteen different people slipped by her to grab items from end caps, all of them coughing on her.

Luckily for her, she was smart and brought her mask, though it got uncomfortable so she just let it dangle from her chin the whole time.

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