Engineer Frustrated At Inability To Tell Responsible Citizens From Train Robbers
U.S. ยท May 19, 2020

U.S. - Wearing masks has become a big part of life these days as we try to protect each other from infection, but one group has found this particularly troublesome: engineers, who now have a big problem telling responsible citizens from train robbers.

"When you drive a train, there is one thing you always look out for," said engineer Hubert Pearson. "Train robbers! So as you go down those rails, you're always looking side to side for people with bandanas over their faces -- but that's everyone these days!"

Pearson said that the other day while transporting goods, three men on horseback with masks on and waving guns around ran up beside his locomotive. He thought he was going to get robbed, but it turned out they were just Texans showing off their new gun purchases to each other while practicing proper social distancing (on horseback).

"And the other day some woman walking her dog while wearing a mask comes up to me," related Pearson. "Responsible citizen, right? Nope! Lady train robber! Get more of them these days thanks to feminism. Lost a whole cross-country shipment of essential oils."

Engineers aren't the only ones having trouble with the new status quo, though. Bank tellers have also had difficulty adjusting, and some have been hitting the silent alarm on every single customer.


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