HAYS, KS — Wednesday evening reportedly marked the 18th anniversary of local parent Wendy Sullivan assuring herself that she would finally get a good night's sleep the following night.
Sullivan, who had her first child in 2007, had reportedly not had a good night's sleep since. "Ugh, again?" she allegedly muttered as her bedroom door slowly opened in the middle of the night for the 6,575th time. "Tomorrow will be different."
According to experts, sleep can be difficult with children in the house. "Little ones have nightmares and teens are noisy or have emotional breakdowns," said sleep expert Dr. Robert Shine. "I always tell new parents to let go of ever having a good night's sleep again. Those days are gone. At least until your kids move out."
Sullivan has three children, ages 18, 15, and 7. Her experience appears to agree perfectly with Dr. Shine's findings, but she's not giving up hope. Last night, she took a child aside for the 5,000th time and laid down the law. "Tomorrow you are sleeping in your own bed," she demanded of her crying child. "Got it?"
The stress of sleepless nights had reportedly affected her marriage, but the couple has vowed to stick it out. "It's difficult, but I've made peace with that," she added. "I'll get a good night's sleep tomorrow night. Definitely tomorrow night."
At publishing time, Wendy Sullivan announced she was pregnant, setting her chance for a good night's sleep back by another 18 years.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
