Family
Idiot Family Gets Puppy

NORTHWOOD, MI—After years of hearing their kids beg for a dog, two local idiot parents actually bought a cute little puppy for their kids like a couple of absolute morons.

"After holding off for years, I suppose it's finally time," said Janice Flenderson, the completely clueless mother who had no idea how much furniture destruction and dog poop were in her future.

"Yeah, I was a bit cautious, but I think our kids are responsible enough to handle it," said Jack Flenderson, the hopeful father who was about to spend the next 14 years of his life being the sole caretaker of the dog since his kids were definitely not responsible enough to handle it.

The parents managed to keep the gift a surprise until Christmas when the sweet little fluffy puppy was revealed to the overjoyed children who jumped up and down with starry looks in their eyes. They named the puppy Remington and played with him joyfully all night. 

Mr. Flenderson was later woken up at 3 in the morning by the sound of a yelping puppy in the basement who had just peed in his dog bed. He shuffled down to the basement, slowly realizing what an idiot he was for buying a dog. 

His anxiety was forgotten, however, when he saw the cute puppy dog eyes looking up at him.

"Don't make the same mistake I made," he later said as the puppy licked his face. 


A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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