SPOKANE, WA — A local hypocrite has revealed that he will not go to church due to the fact that churches are filled with hypocrites.

"I don't want to go to church, it's full of hypocrites," the hypocrite said. "Everybody there talks a lot about living right and loving other people and being kind and all that, but then they go out and do things that aren't always right. What a bunch of hypocrites! I'm fine where I am. I'm a good, decent person. I love everyone. Except for hypocrites. I hate them and they suck."

"Unlike me."

The hypocrite's Christian friend expressed frustration at the man's refusal to attend church. "He doesn't really get it," the friend said. "We're all hypocrites at church. That's why we go to church! We need Jesus! I know I screw up all the time, that's why I need help. I'll keep praying that he'll understand sooner or later."

At publishing time, the hypocrite was still railing about how churches are all greedy, money-hungry scams while he finished preparing to cheat on his taxes.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.