WEST PALM BEACH, FL — High-level Chinese asset and sex trafficker Hunter Biden breathed a sigh of relief this evening as an FBI raid team passed by his West Palm Beach vacation home to raid Donald Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago.
"Whew! Thought they had me for a minute there," Biden sighed, according to sources before going back to smoking crack with a hooker on a pile of cash freshly delivered by Chinese agents. "Glad to know the FBI is still working for my Dad!"
The FBI arrived at Mar-a-Lago shortly after, but things got awkward after the FBI raid team ran into the FBI evidence planting team due to a scheduling mistake.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
