We Can Guess What Denomination You Are By How You Pray
Christian Living · May 22, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

Depending on who you ask there are many ways to say grace before a meal. You show us how you pray when gathered with others and we'll tell you what that says about your theology.

So listen carefully next time during grace and that'll be a dead giveaway as to what that person believes.


The prayer is for massively unhealthy fried chicken and casseroles to nurture our bodies - Baptist

Every other word is "thou", "thy", or "yeoldethinesteth" - KJV Baptist

Prayer is led by a woman - Hey, wait a minute, you're not a Christian!

Prayer is about how terrible, awful, and undeserving we all are of the food we're about to eat - Calvinist

No prayer - Unitarian

Makes strange hand gestures, might be praying or summoning an eldritch Lovecraftian horror - Catholic

Starts with Daddy God - Episcopalian

Start with Mother God - Episcopalian

Recites ancient prayer claimed to have been the exact words the Apostle Peter prayed over his fish tacos - Eastern Orthodox

Makes everyone hold hands - Your mom. DAAAAAANG!

Says cute little liturgical prayer between gulps of beer - Lutheran

By thanking the moon and sun god for this bountiful harvest - Wait a second! You're a pagan!

Pray incantations in Latin - Catholics again

Pray incantations in Pig Latin - Joe Biden

Only Dad prays in this house - Presbyterian

Peek through your eyelids during prayer to see if the tide is back in and the surf is lookin' gnarly - Calvary Chapel

Silent prayer over delicious oatmeal - Quaker

Prays in Hebrew and glances around to see if everyone noticed - Seminary student

No prayer just rolling around on the floor saying gibberish - Pentecostal 


Well there you have it folks! That's the definitive list of all the different ways to say grace. 


Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job:

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more guffaw-inducing chucklefests!

Comments

There are 185 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.