We Can Guess What Denomination You Are By How You Pray
Christian Living · May 22, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

Depending on who you ask there are many ways to say grace before a meal. You show us how you pray when gathered with others and we'll tell you what that says about your theology.

So listen carefully next time during grace and that'll be a dead giveaway as to what that person believes.

The prayer is for massively unhealthy fried chicken and casseroles to nurture our bodies - Baptist

Every other word is "thou", "thy", or "yeoldethinesteth" - KJV Baptist

Prayer is led by a woman - Hey, wait a minute, you're not a Christian!

Prayer is about how terrible, awful, and undeserving we all are of the food we're about to eat - Calvinist

No prayer - Unitarian

Makes strange hand gestures, might be praying or summoning an eldritch Lovecraftian horror - Catholic

Starts with Daddy God - Episcopalian

Start with Mother God - Episcopalian

Recites ancient prayer claimed to have been the exact words the Apostle Peter prayed over his fish tacos - Eastern Orthodox

Makes everyone hold hands - Your mom. DAAAAAANG!

Says cute little liturgical prayer between gulps of beer - Lutheran

By thanking the moon and sun god for this bountiful harvest - Wait a second! You're a pagan!

Pray incantations in Latin - Catholics again

Pray incantations in Pig Latin - Joe Biden

Only Dad prays in this house - Presbyterian

Peek through your eyelids during prayer to see if the tide is back in and the surf is lookin' gnarly - Calvary Chapel

Silent prayer over delicious oatmeal - Quaker

Prays in Hebrew and glances around to see if everyone noticed - Seminary student

No prayer just rolling around on the floor saying gibberish - Pentecostal 

Well there you have it folks! That's the definitive list of all the different ways to say grace. 

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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