SNOWVILLE, UT—According to sources, local homeschooling parents Drew and Sandy Denson have decided it's time to have 'the talk' with their young and innocent 25-year-old son Clay. After mustering up some courage, they sat down with him to explain where babies come from.
"Son, we have something to tell you. Um..." Mr. Denson faltered and started stuttering. "Honey, why don't you go ahead and start?"
Mrs. Denson rolled her eyes and began. "Clay dearest, we have something to tell you about your 17 brothers and sisters. They, well... they didn't actually float down to the earth carried on the wings of angels while Mama was at the hospital."
"Oh Mom, I know that! Dad told me later they emerged from a swamp in the woods and you adopted them! It's OK, I get it now!" Clay replied.
Mrs. Denson raised an eyebrow at her husband, who hung his head in shame.
"No no no, Son, that's not what happened at all. You see, your father and I, well, when a man loves a woman very, very much..."
Mr. and Mrs. Denson then told Clay the whole story and explained the miracle of life and human reproduction for the first time as Clay's face twisted in horror.
"EW MOM! DAD! I don't wanna hear this!" Clay yelled before running to his room, slamming the door, going online, and applying to a local Bible college so he could find a wife.