Entertainment Sponsored
Holy Spirit Empowers Man To Make It Through Christian Movie

DALLAS, TX—According to inspiring reports coming out of local man Jacob Beaman’s residence Tuesday, the believer in Christ was empowered by the Holy Spirit dwelling within him to make it all the way to the end of a Christian movie, against all odds.

“The key to endurance is realizing you can’t do it on your own,” Beaman said as the credits rolled. “You have to rely on God’s power working through you to persevere all the way through the predictable conversion scene and subsequent end credit worship song of almost any Christian movie.”

“It’s like the Scripture teaches in the ‘Footprints in the Sand’ passage: when the movie was at its worst, it was then that He carried me,” he added tearfully.

After nearly giving up during the apparent climax of the film—a soft-lit, strings accompanied scene three quarters of the way through in which the main actor attempted to emote through their redemption—Beaman bravely pressed on, finding strength and encouragement by repeatedly reciting the inspired words of Philippians 4:13.

“We truly can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us—and that includes enduring 90 minutes of cinematic purgatory,” Beaman said as he stoically popped another Christian movie into his Blu-ray player, “to the glory of God.”

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.