Entertainment Politics U.S.
In Historic Compromise, Border Wall To Be Built Around Hollywood

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a historic, bipartisan compromise, Congress has approved President Trump’s plans for a border wall, provided the large concrete barrier be built entirely around the city of Hollywood.

The 35-foot-high, two-foot thick concrete wall will deter perverts from attempting to climb, leap over, or burrow under the structure.

“Now this is something we can all get behind,” Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said Thursday. “We’re in full support of securing the borders of this country from the dangerous criminals and ne’er-do-wells in Hollywood.”

Studies suggest the wall will be extraordinarily effective at keeping predators and perverts out of the rest of the country. Some experts believe citizens of Hollywood can make contributions to our country’s culture and economy, but most agree that there needs to be “extreme vetting” of any immigrants from Tinseltown to ensure no “bad apples” make it across the border.

The measure flew through Congress with unprecedented bipartisan support, and construction began almost immediately, according to sources.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.