3400 AD — According to reports, researchers in the year 3400 are still struggling to discover why an artist and performer named "Beyoncé" was so famous and popular in the early 2000s. "By all accounts, it doesn't make sense," said Dr. Andrew Park, foremost scholar on Late-Stage American studies at Oxford University. "Sure, she was pretty talented. But people were calling her Queen Bey or Queen B or something? It's very strange. We're not saying she was awful or anything - just that her popularity really outpaced her innate talent." Experts have posited theories such as her having a great marketing team, people in the 2000s simply having low standards, and the distinct possibility that she sold her soul to Lucifer in exchange for fame and riches. At publishing time, authorities had called for a "Beyoncé Seminar" in the year 3401 where the world's foremost scholars will present their theories on who the historical Beyoncé really was and whether she actually existed.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
