GREY HAVENS, LINDON - Rising from his chair in the White House, Trump took a deep breath, looked out the window one last time, and emerged. He saddled up his trusty steed, Shadowfax, and rode to the Grey Havens, where he will shortly board a ship into the West.

Flanked by his trusty companions Rudy Giulianifoot and the Lady of the Woods, Sydney Powell, Trump was quiet and reflective as he prepared to take his last journey out of the world and into Valinor, where he will live out his days in peace and immortality until the end of the world.

"I will diminish, and go into the West," he'd said finally after passing the test of Galadriel to see whether he would try to remain in office forever. "This will be the greatest voyage, maybe ever. But I shall remain Trump. The age of men and women in Middle-earth has ended. The age of many genders has begun. My time in Middle-earth is at an end."

After the ship had sailed into the West for a while, the grey-rain curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise. "Greenland!" he shouted with glee.