WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a moving display of support for incoming president Joe Biden, eleven flags were planted in the National Mall to represent the average number of supporters he was able to round up for a rally during his campaign.
The spectacle made a powerful statement to the nation, showing everybody just how amazingly popular and beloved our new president is.
"This is about how many people would be here if D.C. weren't locked down," said an inaugural team member as he solemnly planted a flag into the grass along the National Mall. "Look at this beautiful display of support for the most popular president in history! Truly a beloved president and spectacular leader."
The flags were appropriately socially distanced and roughly looked like bored rally attendees watching Biden ramble incoherently. Many witnesses say the flags actually looked a little more lively than a Biden crowd, since they at least could flutter in the breeze and weren't able to fall asleep.
At publishing time, seven of the flags had been stolen and three others had been knocked over.