OTTAWA — Former Rightful-President Hillary Clinton has been awarded an honorary medical license by the Canadian Minister of Health due to her decades of experience providing dignified euthanasia services to men and women in America.
"When it comes to killing people, there's no one better than Hillary," said Justin Trudeau after the ceremony in which a certificate and euthanasia kit was presented to the former First Lady and beloved cultural icon. "We hope Mrs. Clinton will continue to use her gifts to help thousands of Canadian truckers, er, I mean citizens, die with dignity, just as she has done with such exemplary professionalism in America."
Clinton accepted the award and cackled loudly for several minutes as the audience clapped uncomfortably. "Whaaaaaa? I've never killed anyone! Why would anyone think that?" she exclaimed before winking at the audience, causing a collective shudder to run down the spines of those in the crowd.
Clinton will be free to offer her services throughout all provinces in Canada as well as in the U.S. At publishing time, former President Bill Clinton had been reported missing.
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we've got ten great career options just for her.
