Hilary Makes Landfall, Destroying Over 30,000 Emails
World · Aug 20, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

CALIFORNIA — Hurricane Hilary made landfall today in California, quickly destroying tens of thousands of emails upon her arrival.

"My house is fine, but my email server -- annihilated," said San Diego resident Jim McKay. "Nature is so weird like that."

Despite weakening to a category one hurricane, Hilary still packed a vicious punch upon making landfall. "I'm ok, but the storm somehow crushed my cell phone," said local woman Alicia Gonzales. "I mean, it's like someone took a hammer to this thing. People are letting down their guard because Hilary has weakened, but she's still got power where it counts."

According to officials, the final toll of Hilary's destruction may range into the hundreds of thousands of emails. "It may be a catastrophic loss - of data, at least," said Los Angeles mayor Karen Bass. "I myself was not spared, as all e-mails relating to bribery money from USC and my friendly relations to the Castro family have been wiped out. Sad!"

At publishing time, experts reported that Hurricane Hilary's weakening was due to a southward moving tropical depression named Donald.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Bob Boeing, the founder of Boeing, explains how the number 1 priority for the airline manufacturer is diversity.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more uplifting DEI videos!

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now