HEAVEN - The God of the Universe shouted in excited shock today as a batter pointed directly at Him after belting a home run.

"The Lord was so stoked," said Michael the Archangel. "What a prime time shoutout!"

According to sources, God Almighty had been watching the entire game in rapt suspense. "Nothing like America's pastime, is there Joan of Arc?" said Saint Peter. "What I would give to get down on that field, get an autograph or two. Man, those guys are so talented!"

As the game reached the top of the eighth inning with the score tied, the Texas Rangers stepped up to the plate. "This is my favorite team, you guys - only ones who haven't desecrated the covenant," said Noah. "Whoa, whoa - that ball‘s got a chance! Aaand - it's gone! Aaaa!! He pointed at the Lord! Can you believe it?!?"

At publishing time, God had reiterated his stance against interfering with sports games but admitted He was rooting pretty hard against the Yankees.

Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.