Here Are Biden's 10 Conditions For Debating Trump
Sponsored · May 15, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: Backyard Butchers

Biden's team announced the President has agreed to a debate with Donald Trump in June, but only if a lengthy set of very particular conditions are met. Here are ten things Biden's team is demanding before the President will sign off on a debate with Trump:

  1. Biden's microphone must be edible: The flavor, however, may either be chocolate chip or mint chocolate.
  2. Biden must be allowed to sniff the hair of the moderator before the debate: No exceptions, not even for Jake Tapper.
  3. The debate must be held in a remote location with no chance of any witnesses: Like a WNBA game.
  4. No one can ask any questions about the economy, inflation, Afghanistan, Gaza, the border, crime levels, Ukraine, Hunter Biden, Ashley Biden, campus protests, Title IX, or any other topics in existence: Pretty standard.
  5. The only network allowed to carry debate is Al-Jazeera: Fair and balanced.
  6. Each candidate will be allowed one IV infusion line for drugs: Smelling salts must also be available.
  7. Candidates can phone-a-friend unlimited times: Just like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but with dementia.
  8. White House reserves right to have role of Biden played by Tom Hanks: Just in case.
  9. The debate will end after 12 minutes or when Biden falls asleep, whichever comes first: The debate must also start at 10:30 a.m.
  10. Trump must agree to drop out of the Presidential race and go to jail: Seems reasonable.

Ball's in your court, Trump!


NOT SATIRE: There's no debate over the best Premium Meat Service on this planet.

Get ready to elevate your grilling game with Backyard Butchers! Enjoy up to 30% off when you subscribe, plus savor free ribeyes in every box. And the best part? Free, fast shipping straight to your door!

Backyard Butchers offers a handpicked selection of premium meats, ensuring you get the best cuts for a reasonable price. Their subscription service allows you to lock in your price, making it easier than ever to have restaurant-quality meats at home.

SAVE UP TO 30% OFF PREMIUM MEATS

Why choose Backyard Butchers?

  • 100% American Beef: Know where your meat comes from.
  • Up to 30% Off Subscriptions: Change or cancel anytime.
  • Free Ribeyes for Life: Two large bonus ribeyes in every box.
  • Free, Fast Shipping: Arrives safely and ready to store.

There's no conditions with our service. Trust the more than half a million customers we've served all across the country. Visit BackyardButchers.com to subscribe today and start saving!

CHOOSE YOUR BOX NOW »


Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.