JEFFERSON CITY, MO — After making national headlines with its headquarters announcing that it was closing dozens of locations in multiple states across the country, hero Sam Harrell has kept one Red Lobster's doors open by continuing to order more endless shrimp.
Sam Harrell made the masterful strategic move shortly after reading a news article about Red Lobtser's financial woes, setting up shop at the local eatery and placing his initial order for endless shrimp. Several days later, Harrell was still going strong, switching from scampi to fried and on to boiled.
"I'm nobody special. I'm just a man eating a bunch of shrimp," Harrell said humbly in between bites of shrimp. "I heard they were about to close up for good. I like this place. I know a lot of other people who like this place. If it takes one man continuing to eat shrimp to keep it alive, then I'm willing to make that sacrifice."
Red Lobster staff and fellow diners alike sat and marveled at Harrell's selfless display. "Not all heroes wear capes," said waitress Brandy Turpin, who has worked at Red Lobster for 12 years and will be out of a job if the location closes. "What he's doing is so brave. He's doing it for all of us. He's not the customer we deserve… but he's the customer we need right now. Godspeed, Sam Harrell. History will remember your name."
At publishing time, the staff had sent out an urgent order to re-stock cocktail sauce and cheddar bay biscuits to keep Harrell's act of sacrifice alive.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
