Here Are Biden's 10 Conditions For Debating Trump
Sponsored · May 15, 2024 ·

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Biden's team announced the President has agreed to a debate with Donald Trump in June, but only if a lengthy set of very particular conditions are met. Here are ten things Biden's team is demanding before the President will sign off on a debate with Trump:

  1. Biden's microphone must be edible: The flavor, however, may either be chocolate chip or mint chocolate.
  2. Biden must be allowed to sniff the hair of the moderator before the debate: No exceptions, not even for Jake Tapper.
  3. The debate must be held in a remote location with no chance of any witnesses: Like a WNBA game.
  4. No one can ask any questions about the economy, inflation, Afghanistan, Gaza, the border, crime levels, Ukraine, Hunter Biden, Ashley Biden, campus protests, Title IX, or any other topics in existence: Pretty standard.
  5. The only network allowed to carry debate is Al-Jazeera: Fair and balanced.
  6. Each candidate will be allowed one IV infusion line for drugs: Smelling salts must also be available.
  7. Candidates can phone-a-friend unlimited times: Just like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but with dementia.
  8. White House reserves right to have role of Biden played by Tom Hanks: Just in case.
  9. The debate will end after 12 minutes or when Biden falls asleep, whichever comes first: The debate must also start at 10:30 a.m.
  10. Trump must agree to drop out of the Presidential race and go to jail: Seems reasonable.

Ball's in your court, Trump!

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