Biden's team announced the President has agreed to a debate with Donald Trump in June, but only if a lengthy set of very particular conditions are met. Here are ten things Biden's team is demanding before the President will sign off on a debate with Trump:
- Biden's microphone must be edible: The flavor, however, may either be chocolate chip or mint chocolate.
- Biden must be allowed to sniff the hair of the moderator before the debate: No exceptions, not even for Jake Tapper.
- The debate must be held in a remote location with no chance of any witnesses: Like a WNBA game.
- No one can ask any questions about the economy, inflation, Afghanistan, Gaza, the border, crime levels, Ukraine, Hunter Biden, Ashley Biden, campus protests, Title IX, or any other topics in existence: Pretty standard.
- The only network allowed to carry debate is Al-Jazeera: Fair and balanced.
- Each candidate will be allowed one IV infusion line for drugs: Smelling salts must also be available.
- Candidates can phone-a-friend unlimited times: Just like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but with dementia.
- White House reserves right to have role of Biden played by Tom Hanks: Just in case.
- The debate will end after 12 minutes or when Biden falls asleep, whichever comes first: The debate must also start at 10:30 a.m.
- Trump must agree to drop out of the Presidential race and go to jail: Seems reasonable.
Ball's in your court, Trump!
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